#IMDb isn’t helping

[crabtreee]

Hi I’m going insane is that R.H. Thomson (Mathew Cuthbert in Anne w an E) in tonight’s episode? Thx in advance.

[tremordusk]

Episode 5 Theory: Agatha's Trial is not what it seems (Part 4)

They took the time to bury Sharon… so why didn’t we see Alice’s burial? 

Alice is alive because this is Lilia’s vision of Agatha’s trial that has been warped by Teen’s subconscious insecurities. 

Here’s why:

Ali Ahn is credited for 8 episodes on IMDb.

Alice showed up episode 2 and there is a total of nine episodes so that means she’s in 2-9. 

The lyrics of Alice’s mother’s song: 

“Wherever it may bend, I’ll see you at the end.” 

Is sung by Alice during her trial and could potentially be foreshadowing that Alice is waiting at the end of road or will be waiting at the end of the road (because it’s Lilia’s vision) for her coven. 

Agatha looking at the power she “stole” at the end of the trial:

Agatha’s glancing at the power she drained from Alice and after a moment it fades to dust in her hands— I don’t recall that happening in Wandavision. 

Rio’s lack of appearance

Doesn’t help that there’s a change in the music that sounds sinister as if Death is coming to collect — and Rio was laughing when Death was mentioned. 

The image above is Rio eyeing the body. This also supposedly confirms Alice's death.

If Teen is subconsciously affecting Lilia’s vision of Agatha’s trial then this is him drawing conclusions that Rio could be literal death -> which is something he wants to avoid (but why?). It’s mentioned as one of the rules of the board, “don’t talk about death”. 

Upon returning to the road Rio is nowhere to be seen especially as Teen reveals himself and tries to drown Agatha and co. 

^ could be explained that she stayed behind to reap and properly bury Alice, but I just said Alice is alive… so this either is where Lilia’s vision becomes foggy and Teen’s insecurities go completely rampant or:

The opposite that Teen is consciously aware of warping Lilia’s vision of Agatha’s trial. 

There’s been theories that he’s working with Mephisto (and Mephisto was mentioned in this show)…either he could be working with Mephisto and/or Rio could be too. 

I had two ideas about this:

He’s not fully alive due to the whole Westview incident and therefore is afraid subconsciously/consciously of Rio collecting him. 

I don’t have much evidence besides the Knight of Wands to support this: https://science.howstuffworks.com/science-vs-myth/extrasensory-perceptions/knight-of-wands.htm#:~:text=In%20its%20upright%20position%2C%20the,to%20finish%20what%20we%20start.

Upright meaning could be Alice while reversed is warning about Teen.

Lilia calls out this card when Alice steps in to save Agatha. That’s why I mention her here. 

Upright meaning: represents a surge of energy, daring adventures, and self assured confidence. It signifies the completion of tasks and the fulfillment of goals. In short urging us to finish what we start. The knight ushers in the spirit of the hero, brave and rebellious and moves towards positive changes with an open mind and free spirit. 

^ could mean the trial is only beginning or that Alice’s purpose was complete but Alice is alive so it could mean the detour or that Alice proved (will prove) herself worthy of getting to the end of the road if she continues her self growth. 

Reverse meaning: warns against arrogance, lack of self discipline and recklessness, fear and lack of enthusiasm or ambition. The Knight advises caution and encourages us to think before we act, and to avoid rushing in without considering the consequences.

^this is representing Teen and his current condition of consciously/subconsciously being hasty or allowing his own fears and ambitions cost him what he wants from the road and the coven. And supposedly if he isn’t fully alive being represented by the Knight of wands shows he’s yet to become a “real boy” (Pinocchio reference XD) 

All this warning of what IS to come because remember I said this is Lilia’s VISION of Agatha’s trial that has been WARPED by Teen. 

OR: He and Rio both work for Mephisto but both are under different orders and Teen doesn’t want Rio to out him to the coven. 

Reasons for this one? (still Lilia's Vision)

Episode 4: Rio isn’t trying to hide anything, she’s blunt and opened up about Agatha being her scar -> She's a wild card.

Rio knows Teen isn’t Agatha’s son (THIS we have confirmation)

^ who’s to say that Rio most likely knows his identity (or that he's not Agatha's son) and could tell on him at any time? 

That would ruin his current relationship with Agatha if he hasn’t already. 

Better to dispose of Agatha through a vision while Rio isn't looking ;)

Conclusion: 

To close up one more thing: Teen’s mind bringing in the Salem Seven is a normal process of the brain organizing and processing information -> dreams/visions are kooky sometimes. That would also explain Jen’s sudden increase in hostility, everyone going along with punishing Agatha, how the other’s react differently to Alice’s passing versus Sharon’s. Also, the lack of element and moon phase and no change in the aspect ratio.

Alice is alive 

Teen is avoiding Rio

Lilia is having a messed up vision of the future.

(Lilia’s vision) Agatha’s trial got hijacked by Teen’s insecurities. 

Episode 5 is Agatha’s trial but it’s Lilia’s vision of the future BUT it is warped because of Teen having been in a high stress/extreme blood loss state 

Sorry for the super long theory but I just thought of it >•<

Part 4 of 4

Previous:

[yanderecrazysie]

Brothers Conflict with a reader that's competitive. (HCs)

WARNINGS: Yandere themes

MASAOMI

Masaomi didn’t expect to get competitive, considering he worked as a pediatrician.

But when you get lots of praise for how good you are, he feels like he has to work harder.

He can’t help but admire how sweet and caring you are with your patients, and secretly wishes he could have kids with you.

—--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

UKYO

Ukyo is used to a competitive environment as a lawyer. But you really take the cake.

You’re taking difficult cases and still knocking them out of the park.

If he’s being honest, he finds your determination and quick wit very attractive.

—--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

TSUBAKI

As a voice actor, he’s glad you are the opposite gender, because that means you can’t steal roles from him.

But you’re competitive, comparing your imdb page against his, bragging about how many roles you get.

He finds your competitive spirit adorable and plays into it a lot.

—--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AZUSA

Azusa isn’t a competitive person by nature, so he doesn’t play into your competition like his triplet brother.

He wishes he could have a normal conversation with you without it turning into a competition.

But he’d be lying if he said he didn’t like the way your eyes light up and a mischievous smile spreads across your lips.

—--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

NATSUME

You’re his biggest competitor, making incredible video games that everyone wants to play.

It half-annoys him, half-inspires him to try harder.

He wishes he could impress you more than anyone else with his creations.

—--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SUBARU

You played him in basketball and he tried his best against you, but you totally flattened him.

It made him practice harder than ever for the rematch, where you destroyed him again.

He wants so badly to beat you that it becomes an obsession.

—--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

FUUTO

You’re a beautiful idol, with talent in singing and dancing, able to sway a crowd to love you in an instant.

His turnouts get smaller every time you schedule a concert for the same time as him. It makes him super jealous.

But honestly, he just wants to collaborate with you, just once! He’d never tell you that though.

[bisexualcage]

Stunt Work, PART. 2 | Johnny Cage x Trans Male | MDNI 🔞, NSFW!!

part 1 here <-

After that first time you thought Johnny wasn’t the type to stick around, nonetheless the one to keep up with the people he hooks up with— but you were wrong of course. You both exchanged numbers after wrapping filming and that was it for a few weeks, he kept texting you constantly asking when you’re off. But you were a busy guy, you had stunt work to do for another film you were working on— as much as you wanted to see him again.

“It’s been 2 weeks, sweet cheeks…come on!”

“I told you, diva, I’m busy.”

“I’m busy too stud. U ain’t special in that. I want 2 see u.”

“You wanna get pegged that bad?”

“Yes ;) but also…I just wanna see that pretty face of yours…what do u say?”

You were smiling down at your phone till you hear the director of choreography call you over to the practicing mat to practice your stunts for a future scene. About half an hour passed of you sweating and grunting all over the mat, you were exhausted and so was the choreographer.

“Alright, one more time and we’re calling it a day. Now— come on.” The choreographer motioned you over as he breathed heavily.

You walked over and got in to a fighting stance in front of him, you wrestled and tumbled until he had you in a headlock.

“Loosen up on the headlock, bro.” You grunted,

“We’ve done this about 30 times— now break out of it as I’ve shown you.” He talked down your ear behind you, holding you in a tight lock.

“Alright alright-“ you said quickly and winced, as you were about to break out of the headlock you hear a sort of commotion on the other side of the filming set. A bunch of filming crew and cast running to the entrance of the set. Then you heard people yelling “Johnny!” and you froze in your spot.

“Hey, no distractions. We gotta finish this.” The choreographer director tightened his grip around your head making you annoyed.

“Dude- who the hell is there?” You groan at him. Your heart accelerated and your breath came in short.

You knew exactly who it probably was causing a frenzy like that, but the question was how the hell did he know where you were at specifically and what film you were shooting when you never regaled him in those details.

“Don’t know and I don’t care if it’s Jesus Christ himself- now-“ he tried to finish but got shortly interrupted.

“What do we have here, huh?” Johnny walked up to the mat, his hands on his hips as he sported his usual smirk looking down at you both in a rather complicated position.

Your head shoots up, “What the hell are you doing here? Are you crazy?”, and in a quick motion you flip the choreographer from behind over your shoulders, making him land on his back on the mat.

Johnny makes an impressed expression, looking down at you with a lustful expression that couldn’t be mistaken for anything else. “You didn’t reply to my text, stud! What else was I supposed to do?”

The fighting choreography groaned as he got up and sent glares at both of you, “this isn’t a get together for your Hollywood friends to come to— this is a filming set.”

Johnny chuckled at the man’s hostility, “Don’t worry, I cleared it with the filming director. He’s a good buddy of mine. So is G.I Joe here…” he looks at your sweaty frame, up and down. The choreography noticed this and rolled his eyes as he walked off.

You scoffed loudly, wiping your brow at his nerve— but you couldn’t hide how amused you were at his dedication. “Again, are you out of your mind? How the hell did you find me?”

Johnny walked closer to you now, taking his shades off, “I have connections— plus your IMDb is pretty informative. Said this film was in pre production and I got to calling a few contacts of mine as to its filming locations, and WALAH! how’s that for smart honey?” He cocked his eyebrow up.

You couldn’t help but shake your head with a slight grin at the edge of your lips. “All of this because I didn’t answer your text? I was obviously working.”

“Oh I saw. Two weeks without seeing you and you’re already snuggling with Mr Choreographer, huh?” He said in a humorous tone but his eyes betrayed him, a jealousy behind them.

You huff incredulously, “We were clearly practicing. What’s it to you anyways? You’re putting your image at risk by interrupting pre production and being seen with me.”

Johnny’s expression turned unreadable and his smirk was gone, “I know, I know, it’s dumb. But I can’t help but not give a shit-“

You’re taken aback at this, rubbing your neck and not knowing what to say; “Johnny, the first time we ya know…” you clear your throat trying to word it well, “…you went on about how important your self image was…not wanting stuff to get out.”

Johnny sucked his teeth in, clearly conflicted; “Yes, listen- these past 2 weeks I haven’t been able to concentrate- can’t sleep, hell- I can’t even eat, it’s like a disease.”

You make a confused expression, “What…?”

The star’s expression becomes humorous again at your confused face, “Sweetheart, I’m trying to….say I like you….probably too much for my liking.”

There’s a silence that grew, your face turns red. You knew there was some sort of mutual interest but you didn’t know it had the man practically insane. It made your stomach erupt with butterflies.

“I do too. But you and I know this…is risky with me being a guy.” You say with slight solemn on your face.

Johnny scoffs loudly, “That’s the thing— I don’t give a flying fuck. I came all the way here for this I can’t take it anymore not being able to just…be me. You’ve taken over my brain ever since we… it’s like a spell- you’re driving me crazy.”

You were speechless, blushing of sorts, the film crew around you trying to get an earful of what Johnny was hissing at you. “Oh brother…” you touch your chest, “You just gonna dump all of this on me on a Tuesday morning?”

Johnny doesn’t budge and stares at you with undeniable longing.

“Can we do this somewhere else?” You sigh and whisper, signaling towards your trailer.

—

Once you’re both in your trailer before you can’t even turn around and speak with him, he rushes over and brings you for a soul crushing hug, burying his face in the crook of your neck. As if it would kill him if he parted with you. This wasn’t just sexual longing, this was also something else entirely. So you rubbed his back softly.

“Are you okay?” You whisper in his ear.

“Fuck, you probably think I’m looney.” He mumbles against your neck, his hug growing tighter.

“I- I dont. Just tell me what’s up?”

Johnny didn’t say anything for a whole minute, just mowing over how to say things as he held you. “My dad was an asshole. I hated him as much as I tried to please him. Made me hide things that made me…well ME. Was like that for years. All I ever wanted was to make him proud, but it was never enough for him. He called me a ‘pussy’ when….” He trailed off, pausing for a second before resuming; “…I cried over a neighborhood cat getting ran over. I was 8. That type of crap…sticks with you— I guess what I’m trying to say is…that first day I was with you, when we talked, I didn’t feel judged or denied or ridiculed for the first time ever.” He pulls you a bit tighter against him.

You hug him back, rocking him back and forth, after a while of silence you speak up; “Is…is your dad still around? Did he know about ya know…you swinging for both teams?”

Johnny tenses up slightly and pulls back as he looks at you in the eyes now, his arms still around your waist; “I don’t know, haven’t seen him in years, he probably suspects something but I don’t give a shit .”

Nodding understandably, “Johnny…why did you tell me all of this?” You look at him softly.

Johnny brings you in again but this time crashing his lips on to yours, making your eyes widen but then slowly relax as he kept shifting his lips against yours. There was hunger behind it, the way he tried to basically inhale you. When he finally pulled back he leaned his forehead against yours with a smirk, his big brown eyes boring in to your shy ones; “I usually wouldn’t— but I can’t help but spill like a can of beans. It’s sick- you’re making me ill and vulnerable-“ he says with a hint of humor as he touches your nose with his.

You chuckle softly, “Oh hollywood, what am I gonna do with you?”

Johnny’s eyes turn lustful, “Peg me…that’s what, honey.”

“You’re still with that?” You chuckle with a blush.

“Hey! You said you would!” He does a mocking pout.

Walking over to your dresser you look through it and take out a box, Johnny following behind you like a tail. You open the box in front of his curious eyes, taking out a black strap on. His eyes widened and then a smirk appeared.

“I’m not sure you can take this, superstar.” You grin back and laugh at how silly it all was.

“Oh you don’t know what I can or cannot take, sweetheart.” He bit his lip as he leaned in pressed his lips against your neck. “I’m gonna take you.” He whispered against your skin, his breath warm.

Goosebumps appeared all over your hot skin as you let him trail wet kisses down your neck to your collarbone, you close your eyes and let out soft noises. After a minute, without warning he begins to pull his pants down and your eyes widen still not used to it.

“Your confidence never ceases to amaze me, Cage.” You smirk as you seem him in his boxer briefs.

“Hey, I gotta live up to my reputation hotshot.” He approaches you and starts unbuttoning your shirt, slowly with precision. Studying your reaction as he did one button at a time. His brown eyes glancing down at your semi revealed torso and then up at your reddened face. He was so gentle, so careful.

“I have a binder underneath …I’d prefer if that….” You trail off, slightly nervous.

Johnny nodded and undid the last button but not before cupping your cheek in his hand; “You want me to leave it on, sweetheart?”

You nod, shyly, looking elsewhere. “Yes. I know it’s not healthy to…leave it on while engaging in…ya know, but for now…”

He slides your shirt off, your black binder underneath being shown for the first time, he studies it before looking back at your expression; “You okay with this? You can just tell me to go to hell-“

You chuckle, “It’s fine, Hollywood.”, you start unbuttoning your pants now, leaving you in your briefs.

Johnny gives you a grin before removing his own shirt and pants in a jiffy, there was a gleam of excitement in his brown eyes as he almost tripped while taking his pants off which in turn made you giggle.

“So I assume you’ve done this sort of thing before?” You raise an eyebrow at him.

Johnny snorts, “Of course I have, that being said— please tell me you’re gonna lube it.”

“I’m not a novice at this, why do you think I own one?” You start looking for the lube in your drawers.

“Bad, bad boy.” He sends you a wink.

When you find it, you start lubing the strap on, giving Johnny a mischievous smile, “You better not make too many noises Cage, my crew is outside this trailer—“

Johnny shrugs, “Not the first time I’ve gotten a headline written over people hearing what goes on behind closed doors.”

You wince as you hear him say that, “God I’m sorry you got creepy ass people writing articles about your sex life-“

Johnny waves his hand dismissively with a grin, “Nah, part of me doesn’t care, creepy bastards might as well.”

You sit down on your bed, motioning for him to sit next to you. As he does that, he looks at you with lustful eyes again, “Just because you’re used to it doesn’t mean it’s okay, alright? People need to mind their business.” You say softly.

Johnny chuckles and leans his forehead against yours, “I swear…the way you’re so darn caring and soft with me honey, it gives me the worst boner on this planet.” He whispers, his hot breath against your face. You look down and see his boxers are tight, the fabric stretching against his evident hard on.

Johnny then leans in without warning and crashes his lips on to yours, slipping his warm tongue in your mouth and exploring. You let out a groan against his lips as your tongue now brushes against his. He then softly slides his hands down your bare sides and leans your back down against the soft bed as he keeps devouring your lips. Your lower abdomen already tightening and growing warm by the second. You decide to try and take over, catching him off guard as you flip him on his back.

“Woah baby- if you wanted to be the boss you could have just told me.” He smirks up at you while he caresses your thighs softly, you straddling his waist.

“Ready?” You start putting the strap on around your hips without wasting time.

The actor’s eyes widen and his face flushes for the first time, a rare but nice change to see for once. He swallowed deep for a second before his cocky demeanor came back; “Hell yeah- have your way with me.” He squeezes your thighs, his eyes turning dark.

You took that as a sign to grab his hips and turning him to lay with his back facing you, his face nuzzled in to your sheets as you felt slight friction between your cunt as you straddle his ass that was covered by his briefs.

“Oh fuck-“ he lets out, you could see how he breathed heavily and his shoulder blades contracted.

You back away a little and start sliding his briefs down to his thighs, having a complete view of his pale soft ass. It made you grow warm, a redness on your face. It looks like he noticed your sudden apprehensiveness as he chuckled against the covers; “Don’t bail on me now baby, you were so bold just a min- AH SHIT-“

Before he can even finish the sentence you press the lubed tip of the strap on dildo against his cheeks, prying them open slowly as they just briefly touch his ass hole. “What was that?” you said in a teasing, dominant tone. Your hands gripping his hips now tightly as the dildo teased his entrance.

“That’s cold- that damn lube-“ he laughs, “Oh you fucking tease-“ he breathes heavily, as he looks slightly over his shoulder at you with a grin.

“Shhh-“ you try and shush him as you try and enter his entrance slowly, your hips moving forward gently.

Johnny groaned loudly, gripping the bed sheets as the dildo stretched his ass hole out more and more. “fuck baby-“ he hissed, his face falling on to the sheets as his stayed up.

There was a grin of pride on your face, having such a prideful man on his knees as you took him from behind, it was definitely making you more and more turned on. You didn’t need to have an actual dick to guess how it felt, how his walls closed around you, how he shivered against you, you just knew and it made your cunt wet.

“Agh- shit-“ you hissed, getting a sudden impulse to not hold back anymore and shove the dildo deeper inside him and making him whimper loudly, probably making your crew outside hear it.

“God, that’s it, right there baby boy-“ he moaned, you’ve never never seen him so vulnerable before, he was so excited you could see the practical erection he had that was rubbing against the bed sheets. He was so in to it that he shoved his ass further against you and the strap on.

You bite your lip, almost making it hurt as you start moving slowly back and forth against his trembling ass cheeks, his pleadings become louder and at this point you couldn’t bother with who heard. You could tell you were hitting the g spot in his ass by how deep your thrusts were and how he whimpered against the sheets, the once all cocky actor now on his knees and groaning. His cheeks flushed red, as he looked back every once in a while at you ramming in to him.

As you kept thrusting in a steady rhythm in to him, you leaned over his back and wrapped your arms around his lower abdomen, your face against his spine as you reached down gripped his throbbing cock that was already oozing with pre cum, the actor immediately moaned, his eyes widening as all his senses were being overstimulated by you.

“Easy, Hollywood…” your chest rubbed against his back and you began jerking him from behind as your hips kept moving inside him.

“Oh- F- fuck baby- please- ahh-“ he said in a high pitch, already about to bust wide open. Your fingers gripped his shaft and your movements became more desperate, you were becoming more and more wet under your strap on.

Johnnys face and neck were bright red and you could sworn you saw some tears in his eyes by how stimulated he was, his face looking at you at an angle from the soft sheets, you grunt and jerk him off more as you kept rammed in to him, your eyes staring right in to his. Soon, he let out a loud whimper as he reached his climax; “OHHHH- OHHHH FUCK, YOU LITTLE SLUT YOU- agh-“ his cum oozing all over your hand and the sheets, ribbons everywhere.

You softly moan and pull out of him gently, falling back in to the bed, but not before grabs you by your jaw and kisses you roughly, shoving his warm tongue down your throat, he wasn’t even letting you breathe, he wanted to consume you. “You’re such a little vixen.” He pulled at your bottom lip, his cheeks still red. “Such a good boy… my good boy mm.” He pulled back, his lips making a smacking sound, he looked completely enamored by you.

You blush, “So I did good?”

Johnny slides his hand beneath the strap on and touches your wet cunt with his warm hand, “Mmm- so good.”

“Agh-“ you hiss.

“Now, your filming crew knows who you belong to G.I Joe.” He bites your earlobe.

[akookminsupporter]

Hi - don’t want to spread negativity but have you seen that mean spirited people are leaving awful reviews on IMDb for AYS?! The third one in this picture is just so cruel and the last one mentions “an unsettling undercurrent” throughout the whole show?! What the hell does that mean?? If Icould encourage people to leave nice reviews there, just spreading the word:’(

(Idk if these are tkkrs or antis or what, but jkkrs ik would never leave reviews like this on something … surprised by it really. why do they feel the need to do this? and the reviews are so harsh and very strangely written tbh.)

https://x.com/koominiest/status/1828088531291607060?s=46&t=1vpxCz-hcEUUJGzw7h18UQ

Honestly, talking about this won’t change anything. Calling these people stupid won’t help either. What will help is going to the IMDb page and leaving positive reviews.

The difference in comments and ratings isn’t that big, but it’s important to leave good reviews and ratings.

So, create an account and leave positive comments and a good rating. Basically, just tell the truth.

[wr8tur]

Best case scenario, the road gives these witches what they need: a true coven.

Based on the info given, except for teen, they’ve spent a significant amount of their lives alone. If the road is meant to give what they need, I’d think what they need isn’t power or to unbind, but a coven who accepts them despite their perceived faults.

Agatha’s observation about Jen was correct. Jen craves to be part of the Witch community. Being bound might have lead her to lose credence from fellow witches and respect given the circumstances of how she’s bound. It affected her confidence with her craft so it would make sense why she wants to accepted back in the fold.

Lillia, from what we’ve see in her flashbacks, suffered through a plague of some sorts? Perhaps failing to predict this led her to lose confidence in her craft. The death of her coven which she couldn’t prevent had her build up this wall. There would be no one to worry about, to save, if she didn’t care about anyone. But her nature is nurturing so she can’t help herself. I think maybe this could be the cause for her Seer’s Tourette’s? She tries to keep herself from seeing, from helping, but her true nature prevents her from turning a blind eye.

Alice rejected her witch lineage due to the belief that her mother was insane. She tried to stay away from The Craft but now that she knows it’s real, now that she knows her mother was right, she can finally embrace her gifts and all that she rejected. (This is of course assuming IMDB is right and she’s still around somehow)

Teen’s motivation is still unknown but I bet his story is in line with wanting his family back.

Agatha, well we all know how she’s been persecuted. How everyone has these preconceived notions about her and from what we’ve seen I think it’s safe to deduct she’s lived with this prejudice all her life. She had no one in her corner.

Rio seems poised to accept Agatha but there’s something holding her back.

I wish this ends with them all happily accepting their places in a true coven they seemingly slapped together out of desperation.

But I have the feeling it’s more likely to end with Rio being the villain the survivors have to face at the end. Agatha doesn’t get a lover but she gets sisters and a pseudo son in Teen.

[koichi-nomura]

heyo!! saw your take on the wander episode and was wondering about your opinion on "The Helper"!! I can understand why you wouldn't like "The Good Deed" and "The Tourist" but I was mostly wondering about your opinions on "The Helper" /nf

Hi!! I can totally answer this, the entire episode has a feel that’s completely different from the rest of the series, the character designs feel like a different style, some of the dialogue feels kinda off too?

And it turns out that I’m not just crazy and there is in fact a real explanation to this; this entire episode was written, storyboarded, and directed by one person: Aaron Springer, who worked on this episode and this episode only.

(For further context; Aaron Springer is the creator of the show “Billy Dilley's Super-Duper Subterranean Summer” which was cancelled after one season with pretty bad ratings, in fact the highest rated episode on imdb has the same rating as the lowest episode of woy on imdb.)

I feel like the understanding of the characters that the cast and crew has just isn’t there, Wander’s reaction to Hater in this one feels super out of character, in fact the only time we see this kind of reaction is towards Screwball Jones (which is depicted as the exception) or on “The Wanders” when the part of him that’s literally called the helper is still separated from the rest of him. taking that into account it seems a little farfetched that when he gets so obsessive about his need to help people the result is him ignoring that part of himself.

For me also most of the jokes don’t land and overall it’s just really boring (no hate to any crew or anything, I’m a harsh critic or the things I love)

I think the premise of this episode could definitely work I just don’t care for the execution, it’s not for me.

Tldr; boring and very out of character

[tobbesdiscordkitten]

how much info is there out there about jennifer driver, not only about her relationship with axl but about her in general, i only saw one picture but i know nothing about her.

Not much. She has her own IMDB page that lists her filmography while Wikipedia shares her date of birth (November 21, 1973) and where she was born (Valladolid, Spain). I can’t find any information regarding her move to America for her modeling career, but I did find that she resided in the State of South Carolina afterwards.

Jennifer Driver

Based on what I gathered, Jennifer is a model who does acting on the side. She’s been in a few international films where she’s part of the main ensemble such as Squillo aka Call Girl (1996) she plays Maria. Jennifer has also starred in Fairway - una strada lunga un sogno (1999) as Ellen Douglas, and was in certain episodes to a tv series known as JAG (1995-2005).

It seems like GNR’s music video to Since I Don’t Have You kickstarted Jennifer’s acting career. During that time, Jennifer dated Axl for 3 months before mutually breaking it off. She promised, “[Axl’s] really shy. He's a very nice guy. He didn't beat me up or anything like that. I'm a little bigger than him anyway." They weren’t together long enough for both of them to show their true personalities towards each other. They were a cute couple, though! I couldn’t find the exact reason why they broke up - maybe it was because they had conflicting schedules or maybe the two weren’t a perfect fit - I’m not sure. However, I did find a German article that shared a glimpse of their relationship:

Axl is in love. But the name of his new flame remains a secret. Axl grins, almost embarrassedly, into the camera, as a blonde sneaks out of the picture in the background. The photo was taken at a private party in Miami last week. The young woman is the new girlfriend of the Guns N' Roses singer. However, he doesn't want to reveal her name. Only this much is known: the pretty girl's hair is just as reddish-blonde and just as long as Axl’s. She is, just like Axl’s previous girlfriend, Stephanie Seymour, a few centimeters taller than him (176 cm), very slim and sexy. She tenderly puts her arms around him and kisses him on the lips. He enjoys her affection and strokes her bare thighs. For weeks the two have been inseparable.

Jennifer Driver with Axl Rose

Unfortunately, I don’t know if they still keep in touch. There isn’t any recent information on Jennifer EXCEPT when she got arrested for cocaine possession and larceny earlier this year.

Jennifer Driver’s mugshot (March 11, 2024) Wake County, North Carolina. Felony possession of cocaine and misdemeanor larceny.

As tragic as this might be, it sounds like her career went downhill, and she started abusing drugs to cope with her downfall. It happens to a lot of people in the industry. But I hope she’s doing a bit better now.

The GNR forums on Reddit are VERY helpful since other people share their knowledge from books and interviews about certain topics, including the women Axl dated. I usually check out those first before diving into my own research. Hope this helped! ^.^

[scotianostra]

One of Scotland's' most iconic films, Local Hero was released on February 18th 1983.

In the days before mobile phones we used to use things called phone boxes when we were not at home, and the phone box in Local Hero has become as iconic as the film itself.

There aren’t many films that have a 100% Tomatometer , on the movie website Rotten Tomatoes, backed up by an impressive 87% audience score, it should be all you need to know when choosing a movie to watch, expecially if you haven’t seen it before. IMDb also rate it highly with 7.4 out of 10.

Bill Forsyth’s oil-refinery comedy isn’t billed as a weepy. It is, however, a love poem to Scotland, and that’s what brings the lump to my throat.

Quirky, wry, gentle are words most often used for this comedy on the movie database site, IMDb, the starting point for many of my posts about those Scots in the acting profession in my posts. They brief story line on the site does not hint at the emotional turbulence you might soon be experiencing. So maybe it’s just me being a big sissy. Wouldn’t be the first time I lost the plot. All it says is "An American oil company sends a man to Scotland to buy up an entire village where they want to build a refinery. But things don't go as expected." The film is so much more than this and it stands the test of time much better than other Forsyth films like Comfort & Joy and Gregory's Girl, well in my opinion anyway!

Crackpot Texan oil magnate Felix Happer (Burt Lancaster) gets the idea that a small Scottish fishing village would be a marvellous acquisition for his so-rich-it-makes-you-sick company, Knox Oil and Gas, so he sends an executive gopher named MacIntyre (because that sounds Scottish, yeah – played by Peter Riegert) to close the deal and get the pipeline pencilled in.

“Mac” is met by some local “dork” called Oldsen (a young Peter Capaldi), who attempts to steer him through a tartan microculture that includes a lawyer-cum-publican/hotelier (Denis Lawson) who tapdances while standing on a chair shouting “Stella” – the name of his ever-randy wife; there is a super-hard marine biologist played by Jenny Seagrove who, after delivering a short lecture on the North Atlantic drift, ends up helping Oldsen to find that pistol in his pocket; and then there is a scene in which a very whisky-sodden Mac calls Texas from a red phone box on the harbourside, a phone box that has featured in so many peoples snaps when visiting Pennan in Banffshire.

Other bits of business in the film involve a salty Russian seafarer and overflying warplanes. You can see how it got the comedy tag, and I haven’t even mentioned the thing with the rabbit. And you can see how Mac ends up smitten.

This is all top material from a very talented writer/director, with photography and music from Glasgow born Mark Knopfler matches the acting and direction perfectly. But on first viewing I found myself asking halfway through, “What is this film actually about?” After not very much thought, I came to the conclusion that it was not a How Things Never Go According to Plan story, but a love poem to Scotland and the Scots. A bit slushy, but never mind. It’s only a film.

The scene when Mac phones to describe the Northern Lights, to me is very special, but the scene that prompted the lump in my throat at the end of the movie is when, having failed in his mission to secure the Knox refinery deal and mutilate one of Planet Earth’s most beautiful locations, Mac returns to his frigid steel-and-glass Houston apartment. He stands at his kitchen counter wondering what to do next, the hushed march of oil capitalism buzzing gently outside. He pulls from his coat pocket a handful of pebbles and shells, smelling one of them poignantly remembering as he spreads them on the work surface.

As Knopflers music gently plays he goes to his balcony and looks out to the city......the scene fades to black, then reopens 4,500 miles away, where, on the harbour side of a small Scottish fishing village, we see the phone box, perhaps ringing and the credits begin as the horns of Going Home blast out.

Others in the film include Rikki Fulton, Alex Norton, Kenny Ireland, John Gordon Sinclair and of course Burt Lancaster.

[lulu2992]

Who is the voice of the female Deputy?

When I saw this question, I decided to try to find an answer.

I looked up all the actors listed in the credits, listened to their voices (in interviews, demo reels, or other videos), and… I’m still not sure who played the female Deputy.

While I usually find it relatively easy to recognize voice actors in French, my native language, it turns out that’s much harder for me to do in English. Also, it doesn’t help that they’re usually very good at changing their voice/accent and that, in real life, most of them don’t sound like the characters they play.

I still believe the person who played the female Deputy is also “Cult Follower Female 5” (CFF5), but it seems to me the actor used a different accent and tone so the cultist sounds a bit “villainous”. In any case, I didn’t find anyone that sounded exactly like the two characters…

According to my ears, though, the female Deputy and the female Captain from New Dawn have the same voice. Outside of cutscenes, the Deputy has 314 lines in Far Cry 5 (which you can listen to here, here, here, here, and here) and the audio files were all reused for the Captain. In cutscenes, so the “lines” that were specifically recorded for New Dawn, the character sounds exactly the same to me, which means the voice actor must have worked on both games.

I looked at the names that appeared in the credits of the two games and narrowed the list down to the 15 (+1; see below) likeliest candidates, so here are the people who, in my opinion, could potentially be the voice of the female Deputy, as well as, when the information was available, either in the game or on IMDb, which character(s) they played:

Claire Armstrong

Kailea Banka

Carolina Bartczak (Cult Follower in FC5; apparently not in FCND, but you never know)

Kimberly D. Brooks (Gun for Hire)

Nicki Burke (Cult Follower in FC5, Selene in FCND)

Lucinda Davis

Stacey DePass (Nana in FCND)

Amber Goldfarb (voice of Faith’s Priestesses, “Cult Follower Female 3”, and, I believe, Rae-Rae)*

Julianne Jain

Mara Junot (Sherri Woodhouse, “Civilian Female 6”)

Helen King

Erica Linbeck (voice of Anne, but also this and this)

Cynthia Kaye McWilliams (Resistance Soldier)

Debra Wilson

Kim Yarborough

Mayko Nguyen, who plays Kim Rye, was credited a second time as a “voice talent” in Far Cry 5, which implies she may have also played one of several NPC. Since she worked on New Dawn, she too could be the female Deputy’s voice.

Again, English isn’t my first language, and after spending two days listening to all those voices, everyone started to sound the same to me :’) If you’re a native English speaker and/or have a great ear, though, maybe you’ll be able to more easily solve the mystery! We can do it!

*IMDb says Amber Goldfarb played “Noodle’s owner” (the woman who called Ms. Mable for her pet snake) but the files tell me the voice is actually “Civilian Female 6”, so Mara Junot.

And under the cut, just in case, I included all the other female voices who appear in the credits.

FAR CRY 5

MAIN CAST Beryl Bain (Tracey Lader) Sarah Booth (Tammy Barnes and, according to IMDb, a “Civilian”) Luisa D’Oliveira (Deputy Joey Hudson) Jenessa Grant (Faith Seed) Debra McGrath (Nancy) Tasya Teles (Mary May Fairgrave)

VOICE TALENTS Carolina Bartczak (Cult Follower) Lauren Jackson (Skylar Kohrs) Erin Mathews Julie Nathanson (Jess Black) Kristen Peace Murry Peeters (Grace Armstrong) Claire Rankin Cara Ricketts (Dr. Sarah Perkins in FC5, Mickey in FCND) Charlotte Rogers Paula Shaw (Ms. Wilhelmina Mable) Jane Wheeler (Adelaide Drubman)

PERFORMERS (I’m not sure they recorded voices and they apparently didn’t work on FCND) Michela Cannon Roanna Cochrane (Cult Follower) Athena Karkanis Karen Knox Janet Porter Melissa Robertson Alyssa Trask Brandi Marie Ward

FAR CRY NEW DAWN

MAIN CAST Reina Hardesty (Carmina Rye) Leslie Miller (Lou)

VOICE TALENTS Rylee Alazraqui Mary Faber (in the “Additional Thanks” section in the FC5 credits and in Lost on Mars according to IMDb) Camryn Jones Rachel Kimsey Melanie Minichino (Gina Guerra) Carolyn Ratteray Marisha Ray Nadia Verrucci

PERFORMANCE CAPTURE PERFORMERS (again, I don’t know if they recorded voices in FCND) Ava Augustin Tamara Brown Jenny Raven Ajanae Stephenson Lydia Zadel (also credited in the “Additional Thanks” section in FC5 and a voice in Lost on Mars according to IMDb)

Good luck!

[flieslikeamoron]

WIP WEDNESDAY

I went in my WIP folder and dug out a little something for the steddies. I'm not actively working on it right now, but I think it's the one steddie WIP I haven't shared anything from before. It's a Jury Duty AU where Eddie is one of the actors and Steve is the one guy who doesn't know he's on a tv show. I never got much farther than this, but it was gonna be that thing where you have a spark with someone and it could really be something, but they have no idea you're playing a character on a tv show.

--

Eddie Munson never set out to be an actor. He came to L.A. with rock star dreams. He was going to play The Roxy. He was going to be on the cover of Rolling Stone. But in L.A. big dreams are a dime a dozen. And they don’t pay the rent. 

He dreams smaller now. He’s not so much shooting for the cover of Rolling Stone as steady session work. A couple regular gigs that don’t pay in beer and “exposure” seem almost as unattainable as The Forum. He makes rent by filling the gap with his part-time bartending gig and whatever else he can scrounge up. That’s where the acting comes in. It’s mostly background work, but he’s pulled a couple lines in a regional car commercial, a couple low budget horror things he’s not sure ever got released, a bad roommate on a sitcom that thankfully got cancelled after five or six episodes, and the prime role of “stoner” in a medium popular Melissa McCarthy movie. 

He has an imdb page. Which is kind of embarrassing. Not just because seeing his pathetic credits listed out like that makes him feel pathetic. But also because even the shitty little parts he gets are parts people with big acting dreams are desperately fighting for. Scrambling for any foothold. And he doesn’t even want them, not really. He’s just taking what he can get to keep his music career on life support. 

He kept putting off getting that SAG card, and yeah, partly it was the fucking $3,000 fee. But he could’ve scraped the money together if he sold some of his gear or took on more shifts at the bar. The real reason he kept putting it off was because sinking that much money into acting would be admitting the music’s never going to take off. That all those dreams have been reduced to a line on the back of his headshot. Special skills: Plays guitar. 

He shouldn’t complain. He’s had plenty of friends who washed out back to the small towns they were running from. Or ended up at the dreaded nine to five, dying inch by inch behind a desk. His life isn’t what he thought, but it beats where he came from. And it’s not boring. He’s met interesting people. He’s done weird shit. 

This new job, though. This has to be the weirdest thing he’s ever done. And he played a killer in a hot dog outfit once, so he knows from weird. He still isn't even totally sure how he got it. The callback was mostly improv. He’s never done improv. He did used to play a ton of DnD back in his misspent youth, so maybe that helped. Apparently whatever he did was good enough because he got it.

The shoot is over a month long. It'll be the most money he’s ever made on a single gig. But it’s- He doesn’t even know how to explain it. They didn’t even explain it to him until he got the job because the whole thing is so top-secret. It’s a reality show, but not really. The most elaborate and expensive prank Eddie’s ever heard of. All to trick one poor rube into thinking he’s doing jury duty. To see how he reacts to a bunch of people he doesn’t know are actors throwing absolutely ridiculous shit at him for weeks at a time.

The rehearsals were kind of fun. Meeting the other actors. Figuring out how they’re going to pull this off. The scope of it still boggles Eddie’s mind. Production has built an entire alternate reality for this guy, whoever he’s going to be. But the thing you don’t really think about when you’re on the Truman Show, and you’re not Truman, is all the actors are going to be living it too. He’s going to have to be on all day, every day like some kind of weird improv endurance challenge. 

When they finally hand out the dossier on the mark (there’s a fucking dossier) Eddie starts to get cold feet. He can’t back out now, not really. He’s contractually obligated to go through with it at this point. But he looks at the picture of the guy. Steve. He’s a good-looking guy. Pretty smile. He’s a real person. And Eddie’s going to have to lie right to this guy’s good-looking face for weeks. 

Eddie’s not even a real actor! How is he going to pull this shit off? He can bullshit with the best of them, but there’s never been an entire production resting on his ability to sell a lie. What if he’s the one that blows it? Ruins this entire thing, all this money and effort. All these jobs down the drain, everything wasted. The whole thing is crazy. He can’t do it. 

But there’s the contract. And there’s the money. Enough to buy his own studio time, work on his own music.

“Is this freaking you out?” Eddie asks Sandra over lunch. They’ve spent the morning walking through the crucial jury selection scene, the first test of whether the guy's gonna figure out something's up right from go. It’s a hybrid of scripted, but flexible to accommodate the fact that Steve’s not scripted. Steve could do anything. And it’s on all of the rest of them to not freeze up. To be natural, but guide him as close to the planned bits as they can. To convince him that nothing weird is going on when something weird is so going on.

“I’m nervous,” she admits. “I don’t want to be the one-”

“That fucks it up,” Eddie finishes.

“Exactly that.” 

[twopoppies]

"""normal-guy era"""", I can't believe they can write those kinds of articles, they're trying to say that Harry wasn't "normal" before, was he an alien? and the number of likes ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

https://x.com/wewerebraverOTB/status/1830581324912169166?t=Xt63rs1RdFtgTwdL7MFpEw&s=19

I think the OP is good intentioned, and some of the article is a bit icky (he’s always been daddy, but now he’s dad, the comment about Liberace, and the use of the word “normal” especially). And it sounds like the author dismisses the fact that all of Harry’s eras were trend setting—even the flamboyant ones (how many men are still wearing Pearl necklaces today?).

Also, comparing every day outfits to his stage outfits, or what he wore when he was 16 or 20, is just silly. He’s dressed casually in his off hours for years. It’s just now it seems to be a “trend” (which really is the point of the article). But I think it’s a little hyperbolic to say it’s homophobic/transphobic.

x

[…] This is Harry we’re talking about, so of course he’ll never look like your average man, but his early-30s normal-guy era is as close as he’s ever been. Open-collared shirts and wayfarers at an England match. Some shorts and battered Sambas in Soho, London. A big Umbro hoodie, white socks and aviator shades on the streets of Primrose Hill. In fact, if you were to look at any of Harry’s big fits in 2024, they wouldn’t look out of place on any 30-something guy with a model-influencer girlfriend, a predilection for Lime bikes and a tab at The Spurstowe Arms. This is Harry at peak internet-boyfriend-slash-sports-dad, with a not-quite mullet and some kind of neutral oversized sweater hastily thrown on. Just like Jeremy Allen White and Paul Mescal, he has become slacker hot personified.

[…] While Harry spends less time in LA these days, his look is very 90210: the sort of incognito style that men tend to go for once they reach a certain level of fame and wealth and just want to knock around Erewhon in Beverly Hills all day. It’s supposed to help them blend in, but also: not really? Because if you spot someone in designer shades and a “covert” hoodie while paps hide in the bushes nearby, you’re going to assume they’ve got at least three properties with infinity pools and a lengthy IMDB profile.

[…] At 30, he wears pressed cotton shirts, spends time in Rome and watches golf tournaments. While he’s always given off daddy energy, he’s now also giving off dad: someone who reverses a car with one arm and likes to be in charge of the barbecue tongs. And it’s working for him. Not everyone can get away with wearing a mega-worn band tee and half-destroyed Vans – but Harry isn’t everyone. He could wear a bin-bag and sliders and still appear stylish. “Normal” looks so good on him because he’s not normal; he has a face sculpted by the Gods and a £50 million real estate portfolio.

[…] I’m sure that, come his next LP or Michele’s first proper Valentino collection in September, Harry will launch himself into another daring fashion phase. There will come a point when he needs to make a red-carpet appearance, or attend the Grammys, and only something Liberace-esque will do. Until then, though, let’s just appreciate the vibe of this 30-year-old man in Adidas trainers, short shorts and slightly greying sports socks for what it is: a masterpiece.

Link to the full article

[gothicprep]

whenever a new star wars thing comes out, audiences hate it. and then there’s a bunch of press in the trades about how toxic bros don’t want women to enjoy star wars. it’s so exhausting that this keeps happening.

the thing about star wars specifically is that it’s arguably the most recognizable IP ever. even people who have never seen the movies know who darth vader and yoda are. anybody who could theoretically be a fan already is, which makes trying to hook in outsiders probably isn’t going to be successful. it’s hit its ceiling for how popular it can be. and it isn’t helpful that many of the tv shows have some pretty severe load bearing script issues.

i was looking at some of the IMDb profiles for writers on the acolyte, and a lot of them don’t have a lot of experience. save for carrie anne moss and lee jung-jae, there aren’t any huge, well-established names in the cast. i watched a couple of episodes of it, and the production design looks wonky and the cgi is bad. reportedly, the budget was $180 million dollars. i have no idea where any of that money went.

just, nothing about the decision making here makes a lot of sense.

[barbiemoviestrivia]

ALAN!!! did you see the trailer and promos for the live-action Barbie movie yet?? it looks so camp and fun!!

Yes, I saw both (the 2001: A Space Odyssey inspired one from months ago, and the recent one). As of now, it reminds me a lot of Lego Movie as well as Life in the Dreamhouse in how it would probably self-references the brand's products and their toy characteristics a lot.  In terms of animated movies, it has referenced Fairy Secret:

In terms of story, it explicitly mentions Wizard of Oz by name in the trailer and help but wonder if there is some sort of similar storyline. According to IMDB and the Youtube video description: "To live in Barbie Land is to be a perfect being in a perfect place. Unless you have a full-on existential crisis. Or you're a Ken."

It’s possible that Barbie wants to be "somewhere over the rainbow" but then realizes that "there's no place like home".  There could be some Toy Story aspect in how girls play with dolls. For example, this Barbie’s hair is cut and so maybe being in the real world isn’t as nice as they originally thought?

The idea of “no place like home” also exists in Life-Size movie where not-Barbie Eve becomes real but longs for home. If there has to be an “full-on existential crisis” then maybe there could be a “expulsion from Eden” idea in how (i) Barbie realizes she’s imperfect in her perfect fake world, or (ii) Barbie tries to be perfect in the imperfect real world. In either case, she couldn’t go back to her blissfully ignorant state where things were compartmentalized and easily understood and she'd be conflicted in balancing nuance.

Overall, more than the visuals, I'm much more interested in seeing if this movie is actually about existential crisis because that would be amazingly good if it’s done well. In a way, I almost hope the trailers are almost misleading in how sugary and colourful the aesthetics might be, but how bittersweet and gray the story might be?

[twtd11]

Tumblr, it is time. It is time for me to tell you about this year’s lesbian hallmark-esque movie from Tello Films. To wit:

A Holiday “I Do”

Much like Christmas at the Ranch, which I talked about last year, this movie is, well, more charming than good. Also like Christmas at the Ranch, it takes place at a horse ranch. Or farm? Or stables? It’s never quite clear except that they make some money from giving riding lessons.

Somehow, as has been pointed out to me, the marketing for this film completely ignores the whole horse aspect of the movie. Maybe because they didn’t want the audience to think it was Christmas at the Ranch 2.0? Which is fair considering that is, in fact, basically what it is. Maybe Tello Films has a hook up with some horse people?

Anyway, we have our lead, Jane. Here’s the sich with Jane: Jane had big career aspirations but she met a boy, thought she fell in love, had a baby, then divorced the boy because she realized she was gay. She and the daughter moved in with mom when Jane’s dad died. I can’t remember the daughter’s name and IMDb isn’t helping me out here, so I’m just going to call her the kid.

The kid likes to say droll, sophisticated, self-aware things that sound exactly like what you expect a kid to sound like in a movie about lesbians made by queer people, but which have no relation to how kids actually talk. Yes, kids can be droll and sophisticated and self-aware, but this kid’s voice was 100% constructed by an adult who maybe hasn’t spent a lot of time around kids. I mean, I haven’t spent a lot of time around kids that age either, but I’m pretty sure they don’t sound like this kid. But still, the kid is funny most of the time, so it kinda works.

Back to the plot:

So Jane is alone and lonely and there’s an obligatory speed dating scene where we meet a bunch of stereotypical lesbians which wants to be funnier than it actually is. She goes home and laments her singlehood. But she can’t lament for too long because Jane’s ex-husband and his new fiancée are about to arrive in town. They’re in town to get married and Jane is in charge of the bachelor party. You see, the ex husband is also Jane’s best friend.

Here’s a question (which is never answered): if the ex-husband’s only connection to this small town is that his ex-wife lives there, why did he choose to have his wedding there? We never get an answer for that question.

After all of that set up, I finally get to introduce the love interest. Her name is Sue, and she’s the lovely couple’s wedding planner!

To facilitate shenanigans, the lovely couple goes off to the airport to pick up the fiancée’s parents and they get stuck there overnight because of the snow. This means that the bride isn’t there to taste the catering and do other things the bride should do before the big day (personally, I’d think you’d want to taste the cake and the catering more than a day before your wedding, but I’ve never gotten married so what do I know?) Jane, who is instantly enamored of Sue, happily fills in as the bride to taste various foods. They get side tracked with sledding and a mid day yoga break (who stops in the middle of their work project and is like, yes, I’ll go to a random yoga class now?).

There are several quirky side characters that play various parts in the plot. Some of them come off better than others. The evil banker who isn’t really evil because we’re undermining that trope, was particularly a stand out for me. She knew her job and she was totally in.

I’ll leave the conflict/climax/resolution to you, dear reader, should you feel the need to spend $7 to rent it. I feel like it was worth my money.

And in another parallel with Christmas at the Ranch, I spent most of the movie wanting the leads to kiss and then when they actually got to this kiss, damn it was awkward.

[usergreenpixel]

MALMAISON MEDIA SALON SOIRÉE 16: LE CHIRURGIEN DE L’EMPIRE (2020)

1. The Introduction

SURPRISE!!! Hello, Neighbors, and welcome to Malmaison Media Salon! I did promise you to make a surprise review and here it is!!!

Time for obscure shorts to get the spotlight!

Okay, story time. Most people in Napoleonic community like Larrey. A lot. I’m one of them for a lot of reasons (my interest in anatomy and medicine included), but he and many other surgeons remain on the obscure side of the spectrum when it comes to media, which I find to be unfair. 

So, convinced that there must be something out there at least about Larrey, I decided to do some digging and, lo and behold, found this movie on YouTube (in French with English subtitles). That really was like opening a treasure chest that might be containing a trap or two.

I felt excited about the fact that Larrey has something about him, but also a bit cautious about the quality of the movie. Luckily, I enjoyed it, but more on that later.

As promised, this review is dedicated to @amypihcs and @kaxen , but I’d like to include a dedication to the equally wonderful @tairin , my first friend in the Napoleonic community (all of the community is amazing btw).

Okay, this review is going to be relatively short, so let’s begin, shall we?

2. The Summary

The short in question only tells a snippet of Larrey’s story and shows him during the Battle of Waterloo.

Here’s the official IMDb summary:

“1815 Waterloo, whilst the soldiers of the Emperor Napoleon fight with desperation, a man braves all danger to come to their aid with an ambulance. On this very day, too close to the enemy lines, Dominique Larrey rides towards his destiny and posterity.”

It might sound glorifying to some people, but not to me. Medical staff doesn’t get acknowledged nearly as often as they should, but let’s see how well was this homage done.

3. The Story

Despite only being 10 minutes long, the movie does a pretty good job of showcasing Larrey as a character and tells a snippet story that is, well, an actual short story in this context.

(Spoiler alert)

We see Larrey in action from the get go (obviously, because it’s a damn battle), but then he’s informed that more patients need help, rides to save them, is wounded, captured, almost executed and saved by Blucher at the last moment.

So there is a story structure with a beginning and an end, which is very hard to do with only 10 minutes of screen time available, so I do have a lot of respect for those who can tell short stories well.

Even the filler scenes with Larrey’s family aren’t an issue because they do showcase what people think of him and how his job has downsides like missing out on a lot of family time.

My only issue is that the ending is a bit of a cliffhanger, but then there’s text on screen neatly wrapping things up.

4. The Characters

Larrey is an actually flawed character! Yay! Here he’s brave and altruistic but also extremely reckless and stubborn. I liked his quip to an officer demanding to be treated first that he doesn’t care about rank (because triage doesn’t work this way). Also he isn’t a stereotypical today’s manly man and cries when he believes he’s about to be executed, so he does have moments of vulnerability and emotions.

Isaure Larrey has one scene where she’s being a bit of a bratty teenager, but I can understand that she misses her father and is concerned that Hippolyte doesn’t see Larrey often. She’s a teenager and it’s realistic for her to be kind of resentful at times, even though she got too rude and bratty at one point and made me want to punch her.

Blucher is hyped up by German characters as this cruel man who orders the execution of prisoners, but he recognizes Larrey and saves him, so both sides are humanized. It’s also historically accurate so additional kudos!

Elisabeth Larrey clearly loves her husband very much and is upset about Isaure talking smack, which is normal. Elisabeth is the adult so she’s much more understanding about her husband’s occupation, which is fair enough.

5. The Setting

If you’re squeamish about blood, be careful since the movie doesn’t shy away from horrors of war, but the setting actually benefits from that. Nothing is glossed over, even though the amputation isn’t shown so no trigger warnings for the gore.

6. The Acting

Fucking. Excellent. Acting. From. Everyone.

7. The Music

Excellent music, especially during the tenser moments. Really sets the tone!

8. The Conclusion

Please watch this movie. It’s really good and I only have one or two complaints about it. We really need to acknowledge medical staff more often.

On that note, let us finish today’s soirée. Hope you liked the surprise!

Love,

Citizen Green Pixel